R.I.P. Tomi
Friday night, around nine o’clock, my dear friend Tomi passed away. He had been diagnosed with leukemia in january and on tuesday this week he received a bone marrow transplant, a risky procedure.
Until I found out that he had died, around 11.30 pm on friday night, I thought that he would make it, no doubt about it. Todays medicine is so advanced that few people die in leukemia, was my reasoning. So it was a bit of a chock for me.
I immediately rushed to the hospital where Kristina, Tomi’s girlfriend, and Peter, a friend from aikido, where talking with a doctor and a priest.
After some talking I felt quite calm and not that affected by Tomi’s death. Kristina spent some time with the body while we others, me, Peter and the priest sat talking about different things. Then Kristina came and asked for us to join her. When I saw Tomi lying there dead, the reality of the situation hit me. I had never before seen a dead body, and seeing a friend lying there, not breathing, not moving, blue in the face and with white hands, was a kick in the head.
He looked really peacefull, but I expected to see some kind of movement, something to indicate that the body was still alive. There was no breathing, no movement of the eyes or any other body part. It was a surreal situation.
Afterwards I headed with Kristina to her place, and me and Peter held her company for a while. After a while Peter ventured home and I stayed at Kristina’s place for the night. I’ve been there the whole day, comforting Kristina, facing my own fears about death and trying to muster up the strength and courage to help Kristina cope with her grief. Now Peter is there instead while I have returned home for the night to get some rest and build up my strength for the days ahead, when Kristina will be needing a lot of support.
Tomi was a man with a big heart. He almost always had a smile on his face and he faced every day with new joy! Even faced with leukemia he just said ‘Oh well, now I’m sick with this, and I have to deal with it’. He looked life square in the face and smiled. He was a person that many felt happy around. I always felt a smile on my own lips when I saw him, and I enjoyed many good parties, aikido traingings and laughs together with him.
I will miss him dearly. My heart aches and my tears flow as I now try to cope with my own grief.
This is the way I will remember Tomi. It’s taken from a Halloween party where he put my plastic vampire teeths upside down and ruffled his hair so that he would become this spitting image of an Ogre!
Here’s a picture of how he looked after the first cytotoxin treatment.
Rest in peace, my dear friend Tomi. I will miss you…
Maria wrote,
Vet inte riktigt vad jag ska säga… annat än att jag tänker på dig och vill ge dig en stor KRAM!!
April 21st 2007 at 23:00 (11:00 pm) — Using
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Mika Perälä wrote,
Hej Maria! TACK!!!
April 21st 2007 at 23:04 (11:04 pm) — Using
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Martin wrote,
My dear friend, I may still be a bit tipsy from the evenings activities but I couldn’t help but to fell quite a few tears while reading this.
While I did not know Tomi all that well I feel I can relate to your pain, having lost the remainder of my grandparents in the last couple of years.
You’re my friend and I don’t want you to suffer, if there is anything I can do to ease your pain tell me and I shall do my best to aid you.
April 22nd 2007 at 03:08 (3:08 am) — Using
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Caroline wrote,
I think that ogre picture says alot about how most of us will remember Tomi, even those of us that didn’t know him as well as you did.
Apart from that, I agree with Martin - just say what you need and when you need it.
April 22nd 2007 at 10:51 (10:51 am) — Using
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Modin wrote,
That’s terrible. I remember him and now I will never forget him. It is good of you to take care of Kristina, I will try to take care of you.
April 22nd 2007 at 12:05 (12:05 pm) — Using
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John wrote,
death is merciless
in its face, we are just mere floating balloons
so fragile we are- a pin prick could send us off to the afterlife
but it could be something grand
we often like to think of the dead traveling off to a better place
or to be reborn
he will re-enter the world as a new voyager
once again, ready to explore the universe
_
sorry about your loss
may your friend rest in peace
April 22nd 2007 at 16:51 (4:51 pm) — Using
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Mika Perälä wrote,
Awww! You are the best!
And thanks for the nice words, dude
April 23rd 2007 at 12:46 (12:46 pm) — Using
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Philip Jägenstedt wrote,
I am far, far away in China, but I did train aikido with Tomi a few times, he was a very fun guy. I was sad to hear what happened.
May 2nd 2007 at 13:32 (1:32 pm) — Using
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Mika Perälä wrote,
Ooo, yes, going well in China? It was a nice ceremony btw, and we had coffee and cookies in the dojo afterwards.
May 11th 2007 at 10:15 (10:15 am) — Using
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